You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize