He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
