This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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