Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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