is your mom at the bar?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
