Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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