THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
