dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize