would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
