hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
