Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
