I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
