Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
