i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
