So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
