You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize