I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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