Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize