The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
