He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
