That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
