What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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