Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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