Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
