i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize