just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
