I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
