Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
