yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
