and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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