I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
