Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize