she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
