i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
