Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
well you can't waste a boner
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
