I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
only if we run a train.
done.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
