I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
