dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize