Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
