You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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