my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
