he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
