therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
