Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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