I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
