I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
