yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
