Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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