that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
