I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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