Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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