whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
