Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
