Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
