First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
